The Rear Vision Mirror We all have a past and we all have a future. But what we don't want to do is jump in our vehicle and drive out into our life looking into the rear vision mirror. You can glance at it momentarily. What you don't want to do is be looking at it in a fixated way because that's going to lead to an accident, especially at high speed.

Your past doesn't equal your future.

The Definition of Insanity The definition of insanity is a person doing the same thing the same way repeatedly expecting a different result. Some people do that. They beat a dead horse and wonder why it doesn't get up and run.

It's been said that a person who's worked in a job for twenty years may say, "I've got twenty years experience." That's not correct. They probably have one year experience repeated twenty times.I believed something different. I believed you could go from victim to survivor to thrive. I believed that you can change. That the past doesn't equal the future. That if you bring in different ideas, different tools, and work with your beliefs, you can shift not just your attitude but your behavior.

We had different belief systems. I think that led to our separation.

The Room and the Doorway Imagine you're in a dark room. There's a door. On the other side of that door is a spotlight pointing at the door. But the door has no gaps. No light is seeping through.

That's "not possible." You're stuck. Hopeless. Helpless.

Now imagine you open the door just a fraction. A sliver of light comes in. You can start to make out the walls. The objects. Everything becomes clearer.

That's "possible." That's the first step.

Then you move to "probable." I can probably heal. I can probably overcome this. I can probably change my situation.

Then you move to "definite." Absolute knowledge. Total conviction. Life coaching is grabbing that door handle and ripping the door open so the floodlight fills the room.

The Healing Process How do you resolve the past? Because it happened. You can't erase it. Here's what you do:

1. Recognize there's a problem.
2. Stop picking at it. Stop telling the same story the same way.
3. Forgiveness.
4. Gratitude.

That's the healing process. It gets you from "not possible" to "I know it."

My Second Marriage I remarried a wonderful woman named Rebecca. She helped me back onto my feet. Helped me get the confidence back to believe I could create and design a future I could absolutely love.

I've been with Rebecca for nineteen plus years. It's a relationship filled with love and passion. If I had believed that the past equals the future, I would have been destined to repeat the same pattern. I didn't repeat it.

Final Statement Wherever you are right now. If you're feeling stuck. Dealing with depression. Anxiety. Even suicidal ideology. There is a way forward. There is a way out. There is a light at the end of that dark tunnel.

Your past doesn't have to equal your future.