We weren’t planning to talk about perimenopause.

It wasn’t the topic for this episode.

But somewhere in the conversation, we realised something we couldn’t ignore…

We are having completely different experiences of midlife.

Barbara is in it.Deep in it.

And I’m sitting here thinking…should I be feeling something?

That question alone cracked something open.

Because no one really explains this phase of life.

We were taught about puberty.We were prepared for that.

But this?

This feels like something you just… arrive in.Quietly. Gradually. Confusingly.

Or not at all.

The part no one talks about

What struck me most in this conversation wasn’t just the symptoms Barbara described.

The brain fog.The memory lapses.The emotional swings.

It was how long this phase can last.

Years.

Not weeks. Not months.Years of trying to work out what’s you… and what’s something else entirely.

And even then, there’s no single version of it.

Some women are hit hard.Others barely notice.

Some feel like they’re losing themselves.Others feel like they’re finally letting go.

Is this hormones… or is this life?

That was the question that kept circling for me.

Because at this stage of life, everything is shifting anyway.

Work.Identity.Energy.Perspective.

So how do you separate what’s biological… from what’s simply part of growing into who you are now?

And maybe you don’t.

Maybe that’s the point.

No two experiences are the same

If this episode reinforced anything, it’s this:

There is no single midlife experience.

No neat label.No checklist.No “this is what it should look like”.

Just women navigating change in real time.

Trying to make sense of it.Trying to give themselves a bit more grace.

Trying to understand that they’re not losing their mind.

Listen to the full episode

🎙️ Midrising: Real Talk – Episode 6Is This Perimenopause… or Am I Just Losing It?

If you’re in this phase — or heading towards it — I’d love to know:

Are you feeling it?Or are you, like me, wondering if you should be?

MidrisingWhen midlife stops happening to you… and starts happening with you.

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Most of us spend our lives trying to stay in control.

We build plans.Careers.Routines.Identities.

All designed to make life feel stable and predictable.

And then something happens that reminds us that control might have been an illusion all along.

In this episode of Midrising: Real Talk, Barbara Scalzi and I explore what happens when the structure we’ve built starts to slip. When the certainty we relied on disappears. When life throws something completely different at us.

We talk about the moments where control quietly unravels — becoming a parent, navigating restructures at work, losing friendships, and the way identity can become tied to career titles more than we realise.

Midlife has a funny way of challenging the things we thought were solid.

Sometimes losing control feels like a crisis.

Sometimes it’s the moment we start seeing things more clearly.

As always, this isn’t advice and it’s not a how-to guide.

It’s just two women having honest conversations about the messy middle of life.

🎙 Listen to Episode 5 now

Midrising isn’t about reinventing your entire life.

It’s about waking up inside the one you already have.

And sometimes that starts when the plans stop working.

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