In this episode, Ali and Laura pick up where they left off, diving deep into the toxicity they see in the world around them, from politics and workplaces to relationships and social media, and why doing your own inner work is the most powerful thing you can do in response.

They get candid about blame in relationships, the patterns we inherit, and what it really means to heal. Ali opens up about her divorce, the "97% to blame" conversation, and the profound shift that came from choosing to look inward rather than outward.

Key Takeaways

• Hurt people hurt people. Understanding the wounds behind someone's behaviour doesn't mean accepting it.
• See the 8-year-old in everyone. A powerful reframe: when you look at difficult people as the child they once were, shaped by experiences and pain, it becomes easier to access empathy and forgiveness.
• Doing the work changes everything. We reflect on how personal growth shifted their perspectives on past relationships.
• Blame keeps you stuck. Accepting responsibility (even when it feels unfair) is the doorway to genuine growth and change.
• Intention matters. When communicating checking your own intention helps you act from a place of love rather than reaction.
• Listening is underrated. Many conflicts escalate because people hear the words but not the wound behind them.
• You are still that child. Connecting with your inner child helps you understand your triggers, patterns, and needs.

Tools and recommendations

People

• Angie — Founder of the COGS community- Find out more about events here.
• Lisa — Spiritual coach. You can see her work here.
• Naomi — Relationship coach. You can see her work here.

Tools

• The Wellness Toolbox by Ali Swift. Buy here.
• Ho'oponopono Prayer — A Hawaiian forgiveness practice touched on in conversation: "I forgive myself. I love myself. I thank myself." Used as a daily inner child practice by one of the ladies at the COGS event.

If you need support please use the links below;

Mind Charity UK

https://www.mind.org.uk/need-urgent-help/using-this-tool/

Samaritans UK

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

Other support is available and if you would like to be signposted to other tools please email us at intwominds25@gmail.com and we will do our best to help.

Follow us at @intwomindsuk on social media.

Follow us at @intwomindsuk on social media

We're back, chaotic microphones and all, and we're kicking off the new season with a conversation that's impossible to ignore. The Beckham family fallout has taken over every social media feed, and rather than just adding to the noise, we're using it as a lens to explore something much deeper: what our reactions to other people's pain actually say about us.

From projection and parental fear, to generational silence, forgiveness, and the grief that comes with family estrangement, this episode goes far beyond celebrity gossip. We also get personal, sharing our own experiences with letting go, setting boundaries, and finding peace without ever getting the apology we deserved.

Whether you've been watching the Beckham family situation unfold or you're just trying to make sense of your own family dynamics, this one's for you.

Key Takeaways:

1. Your reactions reveal your wounds — When we react strongly to someone else's conflict, it's often because it mirrors unresolved pain in our own lives. Psychologically, the people we dislike most can reflect the parts of ourselves we haven't healed yet.
2. There are no sides to someone else's story — Whether it's a celebrity fallout or a friend's divorce, we don't need to choose a team. Everyone has their own truth, and that's okay.
3. Money can be a tool of abuse — Financial control is a real and often overlooked form of emotional abuse. Dismissing someone's pain because of their wealth or privilege misses the point entirely.
4. Family estrangement is not a trend — People stepping back from family relationships aren't following a fashion. Increased access to therapy and mental health tools means more people are finally addressing root causes — not performing rebellion.
5. Forgiveness (or acceptance) sets you free — You don't have to forgive to heal, but releasing the need for acknowledgement or an apology can create profound physical and emotional change.
6. Think before you type — Before posting or commenting on someone else's situation, ask: is this going to help anyone? Or am I reacting from my own open wound?
7. Family dynamics are a web, not a thread — Every estrangement or fallout has a ripple effect across siblings, grandparents, friends, and partners. The grief isn't just one relationship, it's many.

If you need support please use the links below;

Mind Charity UK

https://www.mind.org.uk/need-urgent-help/using-this-tool/

Samaritans UK

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

Other support is available and if you would like to be signposted to other tools please email us at intwominds25@gmail.com and we will do our best to help.

Follow us at @intwomindsuk on social media

In this episode, Laura and Ali dive deep into the complexities of anger, accountability, and emotional processing. Through personal stories, including a heated incident at a children’s football match, they explore how anger manifests, the importance of self-awareness, and the value of taking responsibility for our actions. The conversation offers practical tools for managing strong emotions and highlights the journey from reaction to reflection and growth.

Key Takeaways:

• It’s normal to experience anger; what matters is how you process and respond to it.
• Self-awareness and accountability are crucial for personal growth and healthy relationships.
• Apologising and taking ownership of your actions can help repair and strengthen connections.
• Processing anger through exercise, writing, talking, or holistic therapies can be effective.
• Not everyone will give you the closure or apology you seek—focus on what you can control.
• Emotional release is healthy; suppressing anger can lead to anxiety or other issues.
• Supportive friends and honest conversations are valuable for working through difficult emotions.

Tools & Practices You Recommended in This Episode:

• Exercise: Running, going to the gym, and boxing are effective ways to process and release anger.
• Writing: Journaling or writing letters (even if you don’t send them) to express and process emotions.
• Talking: Having honest conversations with trusted friends or loved ones to process feelings.
• Voice Notes: Sending voice messages to friends as a way to release and work through emotions.
• Holistic Therapies: Reiki and other gentle, holistic therapies as helpful for emotional release and processing.
• Self-Reflection: Taking time to reflect on your reactions, apologise when needed, and practice self-awareness.
• Supportive Friendships: Relying on a close, supportive group of friends who can offer perspective and help you process emotions.

Other Recommendations:

• If you are really concerned about your anger or emotional health, we encourage you to seek support from professional services or reach out to us so we can help send you to the appropriate support.

If you need support please use the links below;

Mind Charity UK

https://www.mind.org.uk/need-urgent-help/using-this-tool/

Samaritians UK

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

Other support is available and if you would like to be signposted to other tools please email is at intwominds25@gmail.com and we will do our best to help.

Follow us at @intwomindsuk on social media