If you could download any skill straight into your brain like The Matrix, what would it be? The crew also gets into whether Roz ever feels the urge to teach Chloe how to cook, who’s actually the best poker player on the show (Vegas experience and “street smarts” are debated), and if Roz has ever thought about working on a golf course thanks to his love of lawn care. Mocha opens up about turning in early, sleep struggles, and whether supplements like magnesium are part of his nighttime routine. Plus: the ultimate breakfast plate breakdown, sausage vs. bacon, eggs done right, and a brutal choice — would you rather never text again or never talk on the phone again?

The crew attempts a viral screaming challenge that immediately goes off the rails, breaks down Chloe’s very specific vision‑board goals, and gives life advice to listeners hitting milestone birthdays — including turning 40 and 60. Plus, Maurie interviews the viral duo Twink and a Redhead, who were the first to stay at The Cottage from Heated Rivalry, admits he’s broke on payday, and the team fields calls about nose piercings, birthday surprises, annoying songs stuck in your head, squatter hunters, Reddit oddities, and a very adorable four‑year‑old big sister.

The Roz & Mocha Retro Show! Special guest this week.. Mocha!

A listener worries a running joke about looking like his partner’s sibling may be killing intimacy, while another faces the unbearable reality of a parent who may never regain consciousness after cardiac arrest. There’s also a parent discovering skipped classes, secret vaping, and hidden phones, and a workplace situation where a coworker’s relationship with a married executive feels inappropriate and uncomfortable. Tough, emotional situations spark honest conversations about boundaries, grief, parenting, and knowing when something just isn’t right.

Mocha celebrates his birthday with surprise calls from Denis and Melina, street shout‑outs from fans, and Shem singing a very customized version of Happy Birthday. The crew reacts to Rory McIlroy winning his second straight Masters — with instant reactions from an Irish pub — debates whose farts smell worse between men and women, and breaks down Chloe’s dance competition turning into a full‑on party. Plus, Roz pulls part of an earbud out of his own ear, Shem explains why it was finally time to ditch his Kia, a six‑year‑old hockey player goes viral with an on‑ice interview, Jen calls in ahead of turning 40, and Mocha gets hyped for the newly revealed animated Spider‑Man movie.

Diddy’s lawyers argue his alleged sex crimes were actually constitutionally‑protected amateur pornography, while GB News faces backlash after a guest falsely claimed Drake’s lyrics reference violence against women. Olivia Rodrigo teases a new single as Lady Gaga and Doechii surprise‑drop a track from The Devil Wears Prada 2, the Raptors clinch an automatic playoff spot, Ottawa is rattled by a 3.9‑magnitude earthquake, and Instagram finally allows users to edit comments within 15 minutes. Plus, filmmaker Guillermo del Toro reflects on being honoured by the Canadian Film Centre and jokes that if he were mayor, the city would celebrate Taco Tuesday.

Chloe does quite possibly the worst Shaggy impression, ghost stories clash with denial, haunted hotels get recordings, and a floating jar of Nutella sparks debates about what’s real and what’s A.I. Childhood TV commercials, first wrestling memories, public toilet habits, and the unspoken rules of remotes turn into unexpectedly heated arguments. There’s also talk of truth serum, impossible questions about monogamy, liquids shooting from fingers, WiFi names, beard straighteners, and which TV show would be the worst—or best—to be trapped in forever. Low-stakes questions spiral into big opinions, old stories, and chaos where nothing stays simple for long.

If you could instantly download any skill into your brain Matrix-style, what would it be? Roz and Mocha tackle that, the worst part of summer, and what the ultimate Roz & Mocha Show getaway would actually look like. Things get personal with green flags in dating, lifelong hobbies and investments outside of work, and the exact moment you realize you’re officially getting older (including a very honest breakdown of Roz’s dramatically deeper voice). Plus: menu items inspired by each member of the show and which everyday sound deserves to disappear forever.