Tom Cruise. Brad Pitt. Matt Damon. Ben Affleck. They all passed. So we got Brendan Fraser and his perfect bangs, and somehow it made $400 million.

This week Kyle and Seth bring back comedian Dustin Chaffin for a second round — and yes, they were already laughing before they hit record. The topic is The Mummy (1999), a movie that Roger Ebert himself said he couldn't defend on a single technical level and still couldn't stop enjoying. That about sums up the energy of this episode.

We get into why Brendan Fraser plays every scene — the smart ones, the scary ones, the romantic ones — with the exact same expression, what it means that 0% of this movie was filmed in Egypt, and why the cat scene breaks the whole internal logic of the film. We also cover the genuinely wild production history: Clive Barker, George Romero, and Wes Anderson were all attached at various points, the Super Bowl ad that saved the box office, and the fact that Fraser spent seven years in and out of hospitals after the trilogy destroyed his body. Tom Cruise would've walked it off.

Also: living in your car as a touring comedian, cruise ship audiences choosing between comedy and Harry Potter trivia, and one nighter and a Camry as a legitimate lifestyle.

• New episodes every week. Subscribe so you don't miss the next one — and if you're enjoying Movie Wars, leave us a review. It genuinely helps.