Do you ever find yourself slamming cupboards, going quiet, over-explaining, over-helping, or feeling resentful that nobody seems to notice how much you do?

Maybe you keep telling yourself you're "just tired" or "just stressed," but deep down, you know there's a pattern playing out in your relationships, and it's exhausting.

In this episode, I'm joined by relationship strategist Katie Rössler to unpack the drama triangle: the hidden dynamic that keeps so many of us stuck in cycles of victim, villain, and hero energy. If you've ever wondered why the same arguments keep happening, why you feel unseen, or why you keep over-functioning for everyone else, this conversation will hit home.

And more importantly? It will show you that change is possible.

This episode felt like someone holding up a mirror in the gentlest and most powerful way.

Katie Rössler joins me to talk about the drama triangle, a pattern that shows up in marriages, parenting, friendships, family dynamics, and even at work. We explore how easy it is to slip into roles like the victim, the villain, or the hero without even realising it… and how those roles often come from the survival strategies we learned when we were younger.

If you've ever felt like you carry everything, keep the peace, explode after bottling things up, or wonder why your partner never seems to "get it," this episode will give you language for what's actually going on underneath the surface.

What I loved most about this conversation is that it doesn't stop at awareness. Katie shares how to begin shifting out of these reactive patterns and into something healthier: becoming the creator instead of the victim, the challenger instead of the villain, and the coach instead of the rescuer.

This is the work that changes relationships from the inside out. Not overnight. Not perfectly. But powerfully.

So if you're ready to stop repeating the same emotional loops and start showing up differently in your relationships, this episode is for you.

What You'll Learn in This Episode
• What the drama triangle is and why it shows up in everyday relationships
• How victim, villain, and hero roles can look very different than you expect
• Why people-pleasing, passive-aggression, and over-functioning are often part of the same pattern
• How childhood conditioning shapes the way you react in conflict
• Why changing your own behaviour can shift the entire relationship dynamic
• How to pause, get curious, and respond in a calmer, more grounded way

Connect with Katie Rössler
Website: https://www.katierossler.com

Podcast: https://www.katierossler.com/podcast

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@katierossler

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RelationshipResetwithKatie

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katierossler/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katie.rossler/

Listen & Subscribe

If this episode gave you a lightbulb moment, don't leave it there. Follow Who Do You Think You Are Talking To? on Spotify or Apple Podcasts so you don't miss the next breakthrough conversation.

Don't wait for the next argument, shutdown, or emotional spiral to start paying attention. Start now.

Remember

This is your reminder that you're not too much, too sensitive, or too stuck. You may just be repeating a pattern you were never taught how to interrupt. And that can change.

You don't need fixing, you need awareness, tools, and support. And I'm here with you every step of the way.

This podcast is produced by www.keystepsupport.com

You keep saying "I'm not ready"… but what if that's exactly why nothing is changing?

I had a moment in a recent coaching session that really stayed with me… I realised I wasn't the right coach for that client.

Not because she wasn't capable. Not because she didn't want change.
But because every time we got close to the real issue - the pattern underneath everything - she pulled back.

"I'm just not ready to go there."

And honestly? I get it. I've been that person too.

For years, I stayed on the surface. Blaming circumstances, staying busy, focusing on plans and to-do lists… anything to avoid looking at what was really going on underneath.

Because that kind of honesty? It's uncomfortable. It's scary.
It asks you to look at the role you've played in your own patterns.

In this episode, I'm talking about why we avoid the deeper work, how "fake it till you make it" can keep you stuck in performance mode, and what actually happens when you stop pretending and start getting honest with yourself.

Because here's the truth:
You don't need to feel ready.
You just need to be willing to stop repeating the same patterns.

What You'll Learn
• Why "I'm not ready" is often fear in disguise
• How avoiding the real issue keeps you stuck in the same patterns
• The hidden cost of "faking it till you make it"
• How to recognise when you're staying on the surface instead of going deeper
• Why honesty (not perfection) is the real starting point for change
• What shifts when you stop performing and start being yourself

Remember

If this episode hit a nerve, that's not a bad thing, that's awareness.

And awareness? That's where everything starts to change.

You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need to be willing to look.

Work With Me 1:1

If you recognised yourself in this episode and you're ready to go deeper, I currently have one space open for private 1:1 coaching this month.

This work isn't about fixing you, because you're not broken.

It's about slowing things down enough to understand what's really happening underneath your reactions, so you can respond differently with more calm, clarity, and confidence.

If you're curious about working together, you can reach out through the contact form in the show notes and we'll simply have a conversation to see if it's the right fit.

This podcast is produced by www.keystepsupport.com

If you're exhausted from giving too much, fixing too much, and staying too long… this episode will show you what's really driving it - and how to take your energy back.

"I'm so tired of wasting time." That's how this conversation started.

But here's the truth… it wasn't about time at all.

It was about the hidden habit so many of us are stuck in, overexplaining, overgiving, and over-participating in situations that were never ours to carry in the first place.

Maybe you recognise it…
You answer once, but then you explain it again.
You say no, but then soften it with a long justification.
You're ready to leave, but you stay, just in case.

Not because you have to…
But because something in you feels safer staying than leaving.

In this episode, I walk you through a real client session where we uncovered what was really going on underneath the frustration and how one small shift changed everything.

Because this isn't about becoming cold or uncaring.
It's about recognising where your energy is leaking… and learning how to choose differently.

If you've ever felt drained, resentful, or stretched too thin, this episode will help you see why.

And more importantly… what to do about it.

What You'll Learn

• Why overexplaining is often rooted in fear, not logic

• How to catch yourself before you slip into "fixer mode"

• The hidden emotional drivers behind people-pleasing habits

• How to pause in the moment and ask, "Is this mine to carry?"

• Simple ways to say no (without guilt or over-explaining)

• How to stop managing everyone else and start leading yourself

1:1 Coaching with me
If this episode hit close to home, this is exactly the work we do together.

I have one space open this month for private coaching.

This is a calm, supportive space to understand your reactions, shift your habits, and start showing up in a way that feels clear, confident, and in control.

Contact me through my website https://jennymcoaching.com/contactme/ or you can DM me @jennymcoaching

What my clients say

"Working with Jenny helped me realise how much energy I was giving away without even noticing. I feel calmer, clearer, and finally back in control of my time."

If you're enjoying the podcast, I'd love if you left a review or shared it with someone who needs to hear this.

This is your reminder, you don't need to do more, explain more, or carry more.

You just need the awareness to choose differently.

And I'm right here with you every step of the way.