What if the thing you keep trying to change about yourself… isn't actually changeable?

And what if the same is true for your partner?

In this powerful and perspective-shifting conversation, I sit down with Dr. Denim Slade, author of Unlock Your C.O.R.E. Potential, to talk about temperament, relationships, and the freedom that comes when we stop trying to "fix" what was never meant to be fixed.

Dr. Slade brings decades of experience as a marriage and family therapist and coach, along with his CORE framework—a temperament-based system that helps people understand the parts of themselves that are innate and unchangeable.

Together, we explore the tension so many of us live in:
Trying to grow… while also needing to accept.

Because here's the truth:
Growth doesn't come from changing your core nature.
It comes from understanding it—and learning how to work with it.

In This Episode, We Talk About:

• Why temperament is not something you can change—and why that's actually good news
• The difference between who you are vs. what you've learned
• How many relationship struggles come from trying to change your partner's wiring
• What happens when you finally stop seeing yourself (or them) as "the problem"
• How to work with your temperament instead of against it
• The surprising freedom that comes with acceptance over self-rejection
• Where this intersects with Complex Shame—and how shame keeps us trying to "fix" ourselves to be loved

A Shift to Consider:
If you've been living with the quiet belief that:
"I'm too much…"
"They should be different…"
"If I could just change this, everything would work…"

This conversation invites you to pause.
What if the work isn't changing your core…
but understanding it?

About Dr. Denim Slade
Dr. Denim Slade is a relationship expert, coach, and author with over 25 years of experience helping individuals and couples improve their lives and relationships. He holds a Ph.D. in Human Development and Family Science and is the creator of the CORE temperament framework—a personality system designed to help people understand the innate, unchangeable aspects of who they are and how those impact their relationships.

Learn more about his work: https://becomehealthyandhappy.com/

Resources & Next Steps:

Connect with me on Instagram @drzoeshaw for daily encouragement.

Subscribe to my newsletter for more conversations on healing, boundaries, and healthy love.

Order the book Stronger in the Difficult Places: drzoeshaw.com/book


Join the waitlist for Stronger Woman Intensive: here

Free Downloads:

Download the Steps to Healing from Complex Shame™ PDF: here
Get the First Chapter of Stronger in the Difficult Places: here

If this episode spoke to you, please share it with a friend who needs hope in their relationships. And don't forget to subscribe to Stronger in the Difficult Places so you never miss an episode

You are my people.

Everything I create- this podcast, my writing, these emails- is for one reason:
to help you have a better relationship with yourself and with the people you love.

And when you ask me questions, I listen. I really listen.

I answered this question today because even though she didn't share many details, I could feel the anguish in her words…
and I remember what it felt like to be in that place.

Here's what she asked:

"Dr. Zoe, what do I do when overwhelming shame is keeping me from seeking the help I truly need? How do I even begin to find the words—or the strength—to reach out when I feel so ashamed of myself?"

If you've ever felt that… you are not alone.

Tune in to hear my answer.

Resources & Next Steps:

Connect with me on Instagram @drzoeshaw for daily encouragement.

Subscribe to my newsletter for more conversations on healing, boundaries, and healthy love.

Order the book Stronger in the Difficult Places: drzoeshaw.com/book


Join the waitlist for Stronger Woman Intensive: here

Free Downloads:

Download the Steps to Healing from Complex Shame™ PDF: here
Get the First Chapter of Stronger in the Difficult Places: here

If this episode spoke to you, please share it with a friend who needs hope in their relationships. And don't forget to subscribe to Stronger in the Difficult Places so you never miss an episode

What happens when the relationship you once chose begins to feel heavy and you quietly tell yourself you're stuck?

In this episode, Dr. Zoe speaks directly to the woman who feels trapped not by crisis, but by clarity she's been avoiding. The kind of clarity that comes when love hasn't disappeared, but ease has. When you're still committed, but something inside you is tired.

This is not an episode about whether you should stay or leave.

It's an invitation to reclaim your power.

In this conversation, Dr. Zoe gently challenges one of the most painful beliefs women carry in long-term relationships: "I'm stuck." Instead, she offers a reframing that can shift your nervous system, your thinking, and your sense of agency without forcing a decision you're not ready to make.

In this episode, we explore:
• Why feeling "trapped" often comes from emotional bargaining, not the relationship itself
• The hard but freeing truth: you are still choosing and why that matters
• How owning your reasons for staying restores power instead of shame
• The difference between acceptance and resignation
• What it means to stop trying to change your partner without abandoning yourself
• Why unacknowledged grief turns into resentment and how clarity creates cleaner love
• The question that brings honesty back into long-term relationships

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with a friend who might need these words today or leaving a review so more women can find this conversation.

Resources & Next Steps:

Connect with me on Instagram @drzoeshaw for daily encouragement.

Subscribe to my newsletter for more conversations on healing, boundaries, and healthy love.

Order the book Stronger in the Difficult Places: drzoeshaw.com/book


Join the waitlist for Stronger Woman Collective: here

Free Downloads:

Download the Steps to Healing from Complex Shame™ PDF: here
Get the First Chapter of Stronger in the Difficult Places: here

If this episode spoke to you, please share it with a friend who needs hope in their relationships. And don't forget to subscribe to Stronger in the Difficult Places so you never miss an episode